Turtle has a smoking habit

Turtles are creatures of habit, it seems, after one was caught smoking. The pet
can finish a cigarette in four minutes.

Groin man kicked into jail

A man in Canada has been jailed for approaching seven different women and
asking them to kick him in the groin.

Deer chased into sea by dogs

A young deer was rescued by a lifeboat crew after it was chased into the sea by
a pack of angry dogs.

Rats: Tony Blair is dead

Tributes from around the world look set to pour into Britain at the shocking
news of the death of Tony Blair… the artistic rat.

Woman ‘made to remove nipple ring with pliers’

Airport security staff made a woman take out her nipple ring with pliers before
she was allowed to board a plane, it has been claimed.

Incoming search terms:

• nepali model show nipple
• pliers reviews
• weird nipple rings
• woman made to remove nipple rings

Bomb scare just a science project

Train passengers rushed for the exits when a bomb ‘went off’ – only for the
scare to be blamed on a student’s science project.

‘Wombat rape victim’ cried wolf

A man who told police he had been raped by a wombat has, perhaps not
surprisingly, failed to substantiate his claim in court.

Duck-beheader sentenced for duck-beheading

Man apologises for ripping the head off a live duck in a hotel. Ah, don’t beat
yourself up, we’ve all done it.

Incoming search terms:

• duck beheading

‘I’m hoping to start a new sexuality.’

The story of the man who built himself a robot girlfriend because it wasn’t
really working out with human ladies.

Woman pulls gun in shoe spat

Great proportionate responses of our time: pulling a gun on deliverymen because
they wouldn’t take their shoes off.

Aussie promises second Stonehenge

AUSTRALIA: The original took thousands of years to build – but now an
Australian entrepreneur wants to knock up a replica Stonehenge in nine months.

Man drives car into post office, repeatedly

Driving one car into a post office may be regarded as misfortune. Driving two
cars into a post office looks like youre a bit crazy.

Twin toilet invented for domestic bliss

We’ve seen twin sinks and twin baths. Now the latest in domestic bliss is said
to be… a twin toilet.

Man attacks wife with profiteroles, relationship over

A man has admitted to attacking his wife of eight years by throwing
profiteroles at her.

Jailed for being in park at wrong time

Most people enjoying spending time in the park relaxing – that is unless your
name’s William Alfred.